You are a SAHM (or SAHD) if...

1) You know all of the parks in a 20 mile radius.
2) You know the words and songs to at least 5 Pixar/Dreamworks/Disney movies.
3) You consider the kids playing quietly for 5 minutes your "state mandated break".
4) You sometimes use the TV as the babysitter.
5) You say a lot of words starting with the letter "B" - bubba, book, booboo, etc. For example: Awwww, did Bubba bonk his head? Do you have a booboo??
6) At lunchtime (and maybe even dinner), you think, "What did mothers do before Mac 'n' Cheese?".
7) You know the free, kids', and discount days of the zoos, malls, and museums within a 100 mile radius, and plan your days accordingly.
8) You time your Costco trips with their sample times (free lunch!).
9) You really look forward to playdates because they mean that you won't be hearing "Mommy, can you..." every minute.
10) On the worst days, your house looks like a tornado hit it; on the better days, you can see the floor.
11) You consider a clean house, washed dishes, folded laundry, and having your sanity all at the same time a luxury.
12) A real vacation would be time AWAY from your kids.
13) Feel both excited and sad thinking of your youngest's first day of school, knowing that you will probably miss him preventing you from doing any housework.
14) You accept all this, and wouldn't give it up for anything.